​On a Thursday afternoon I was officially labelled Unemployable by Communities for Work and the Restart Scheme. The system sees that as a failure but for me it was the wake up call I needed. I didn’t just give up on finding work. I applied for over 2000 jobs in the last two years. I put the effort in but the doors stayed shut every single time.

 

Back when my daughter was born I was working 80 hours a week. I thought I was doing the right thing by providing but I was just giving everything to a job that didn’t care about me or my family. By the time she was 10 months old the pressure broke everything apart. We split up and I lost my home and the life I had built.

 

My daughter is 4 years old now. For nearly 3 years I hadn’t seen her at all. That is 75% of her whole life I missed because I was stuck in that same old trap. I can never get that time back and that pain never really goes away. But I have some amazing news. I have worked hard secured a place at Heart and I am finally reconnecting and building my relationship with her again after all this time. It means everything to me.

 

I swore I would never let that happen again.

 

Our son is 5 months old now and I haven’t missed a single day of his life. I have seen every smile and heard every laugh. I have been there for every single moment. I have shared more of his life in these first few months than I ever got to share with my daughter in years and that is only because I stopped trading my whole life just for a pay cheque.

 

We rent privately and we don’t have a safety net or any help. It is just me my partner and our child. The stakes are high and every day is hard work but I am building this community in the quiet moments between feeds and naps because it matters that much to me.

 

I want to show other dads that you do not have to choose between earning a living and actually being a father. If you ever feel like your job is stealing your kids childhood or you are there but not really present you are not alone. I know exactly how that feels because I lived it.

 

This space is for us dads. Real talk no ego no judgment. We are all learning and growing together. I am doing this for my kids and I am doing it for yours too.